Main article: E-Dude
  • "Doctor, why am I a pear?" (from "Lolwut: Part 3")
  • "Let me tell you something, buddy. This is "Burger King". We sell Whoppers, not Big Macs!" (from "I Want A Big Mac")
  • Stick Figure: "You know you're history with chairs! You throw them at me, you stick me to them, you pull them back when I'm gonna sit on them. You're so mean to me."
    Tom: "Those were good times." (from "The Chair")
  • Guy 1: "What are you doing?"
    Guy 2: "Staring contest with King Boo."
    Guy 1: "How long have you been doing this?"
    Guy 2: "I don't know. I lost track after 6 hours." (from "Anything For Sugar")
  • "Hello, sir! You have a big head." (from "Steven's Christmas")
  • "I built you to be an idiot." (from "Do My Homework")
  • Steven: "Your BRAIN is literally being destroyed as we speak. When was the last time you had a brain scan?" (from "2012/New Year")
  • "I don't flush. I don't wash my hands. I'm allergic to chocolate. I wet the bed. And I like that girl and I'm not ashamed of it." (from "Hypnotisim")
  • Nate: "Why are you teaching us this?"
    Mr. Blackmore: "'Cause you need it in life."
    Nate: "Yeah, 'cause I'm gonna add 3 x + 4 to order a burger." (from "Teacher Intimidation")
  • Steven: "Dude, I just found out that "racecar" is "racecar" spelled backwards!" (from "Lolwut: Part 4")
  • Steven's Father: "Steven, get off the computer and go to school."
    Steven: "Dad, lose your anger and go find a gym."
    Steven's Father: "You can't talk to me like that!"
    Steven: "Ah, save it for the therapist, old man." (from "Backtalk")